Chronically thriving through life and college

Hello and welcome to my blog. 🙂

On March 11, 2019 my world spun out of control. As I stepped onto a bus to head into campus, I slipped on the ice and hit my knee. What followed in the next two months was one urgent care visit, two sets of x-rays, one MRI (plus a last minute canceled MRI), three different doctors and multiple physical therapy visits. The guesses of my physicians ranged from a stretched ligament to a bruised bone to a torn meniscus.

I was finally diagnosed with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, a nerve disorder that causes the brain to read normal stimulation as pain and a threat to my body. The threats my brain perceived included clothing, wind, the vibrations from the drums at church and my mother’s lightest touch.

From the beginning of my chronic journey, I knew that God was right beside me, but that didn’t stop me from trying to stand on my own strength. My pride kept me from asking people–even my own roommate–for help. I went five weeks without fresh food because I didn’t want to be a nuisance. For seven months, I thought that I was relying on God’s joy through my chronic pain.

It wasn’t until I attended my college ministry’s fall retreat and had to physically be two rooms away from the rest of the group to escape the vibrations of the drums that I finally realized the depth of isolation that I felt–not just from my friends, but from God as well.

During that retreat where I had nothing left to give, I learned that in order to fully lean on God, I had to let go of my own strength and fully collapse into Him. God was not as glorified in me powering through my weaknesses as he was when I fully collapsed into him.

I didn’t know anyone my age with chronic pain. I looked to God, my family, and my friends for support but I still felt alone. The internet also wasn’t very helpful. There was not a lot about college and chronic pain–especially not from a Christian world view. I didn’t want to just survive in college and life, I wanted to thrive.

By the grace of God and the support of those around me, I am thriving through my chronic issues. I want to encourage other young adults who are going through chronic pain and illness that it is still possible to have a life worth living. You’ve got this! I know that you feel isolated and alone (even betrayed) but you can thrive.

I cannot wait to start on this journey with you!